Don’t write a pitch longer than the story you’d be assigned. Don’t pitch stories from Science, Nature, PLoS, or PNAS. Don’t start your pitch with who you are or who we know in common. Those are just three tips from a panel of editors on The Open Notebook feature, "Pitching errors: How not to pitch." From the intro: "Writing a good pitch is really tough. Writing a bad one is easy. Editors see the same mistakes over and over again, even from good writers."
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