SCIENCE WRITER COULD HAVE BEEN A CONTENDER

by Corinna Wu

As students in the science writing program at UC Santa Cruz, one of our first assignments was to write our own obituaries. Most of my classmates imagined living to a ripe age and dying peacefully after a colorful, Pulitzer Prize-winning career. I, on the other hand, decided to die of a brain hemorrhage at the age of 29, so I wouldn't have to speculate on what might be.

But now that I have actually been in journalism for a while, I am proud to have genuine, science-writer-related tidbits to add interest to my obituary. They include, "Corinna was immortalized in the Annals of Improbable Research for using that dreaded hyperbole, 'Holy Grail,' in a story" and "Marlon Brando once called her a wimp."

Yes, that's right: The strength of my character was disparaged by the Oscar-winning actor famous for his roles as Don Corleone, Colonel Kurtz, Stanley Kowalski, and that bioethicist's nightmare, Dr. Moreau. He called one day about a month after I had started work as producer of the AAAS radio program, Science Update.

When the phone rang that afternoon, I was in the middle of editing a script. I thought the caller might be a scientist or perhaps a public information officer pitching a story. But instead, a woman's voice said, "I work for Marlon Brando. He'd like to talk to you about an article you wrote in Science News."

My first thought was: "Is this a prank?" And then, like any radio reporter, my second thought was: "Should I be taping this?" The woman put me on hold, and after a brief interlude of music from an L.A. radio station, I heard the unmistakable voice.

It turns out that Brando subscribes to and is a die-hard fan of Science News, where I was previously on staff. He had called to ask about a feature story I had written about mosquito attractants, explaining that he owned an island in the South Pacific and that the insects were a big problem there. He had called primarily to ask for the phone numbers of the researchers quoted in the story. Obviously, I didn't tell him to look up the references on the Science News Web site, which is what I usually say to readers who call. He said he was planning to establish a laboratory on the island (a la Dr. Moreau?), so he wanted to know more about research relevant to that area of the world.

Now, there are some journalists who commonly rub elbows with the rich and famous. I'm not one of them. I've spent most of my short writing career hunched over a computer keyboard, tapping out stories about new-and-improved polymers. I'm not used to getting calls from people that, say, my mother has actually heard of.

Brando was very polite, addressing me as "Ms. Wu," and he struck me as thoughtful and informed. We discussed the politics of science and how scientists know what they know. He asked about Science Update and AAAS. Gradually, though, our conversation strayed from epistemology and science journalism to . . . psychokinesis. I didn't feel like getting into a debate, so I listened politely and gently steered the conversation back onto more solid ground.

In the end, Brando gave me his phone number and asked me to call with any additional information on mosquitoes I came across.

The minute I hung up, I ran over to Bob, my executive producer, to tell him about my brush with greatness. His jaw dropped. Apparently, Bob wasn't accustomed to getting calls from Marlon Brando either.

Bob said, "Call him back!" He wanted me to ask Brando to appear on our show. I cringed. My instincts told me this would be a futile attempt and a potential font of embarrassment for me. And I didn't want to jeopardize my newly acquired Hollywood connection with an immediate request for a favor. But not wanting to disappoint my new boss, I agreed to make the call.

The next afternoon, I sat by the phone, nervously practicing what I was going to say. If Science Update had employed a secretary, I could have had My People call His People. Instead, like a teenager trying to get a date for the prom, I sat there for 10 minutes trying to psych myself up. ("Who knows? It just might work. I'll make him an offer he can't refuse!")

Finally, I gritted my teeth and dialed. His assistant answered, put me on hold, and then Brando came on the line. I stammered out my request, completely forgetting the carefully worded speech I had just rehearsed. He politely asked for more details about the show--and then politely declined. He said he limits his public appearances and has to choose those very carefully. I said that I understood and that I was sorry for bothering him.

He replied, "Don't apologize; it's a sign of weakness." I sensed this wasn't a good time to ask for a job as PIO of his island research lab.

As I silently mourned the loss of the Godfather's good graces, he gave me his mailing address and fax number. Did that mean I was still "in"? Or was this Brando's subtle way of telling me to limit my future communication with him to the written word?

I can't say for sure because I haven't tried to contact him again.

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Corinna Wu is producer of Science Update, AAAS.